What was Captain Hook called before he lost his hand?
If Santa Claus only comes when we're sleeping, how do we know what he looks like?
Why do towels get so dirty, aren't you supposed to be Clean after washing?
Can fat people go skinny dipping?
Did the guy who coined the term "One Hit Wonder" ever come up with any other prhases?
If Cinderella's shoe fit so perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?
If you became senile, would you know it?
Do Transformers get car, or life insurance?
How can you tell if sardines go bad, would they smell good?
What would you call an earthworm on Saturn?
If a sheep is a ram, and a mule is an ass, then why is a ram in the ass called a goose?
What kind of shot would you have to have if you were bitten by a rhinoceros?
If you cut your tongue off and ate it, would you be able to taste it?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
How long of a cord would you need to bunjee jump in outer space?
What would happen if you pulled your bottom lip over your head and swallowed?
What do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?
Can people hooked on crack play the bagpipes?
If you were to carpet the state of Wisconsin, how long would it take to vacuum it?
Why do they call them handcuffs, when you wear them on your wrists?
When styrafoam is shipped, what does it get packed in?
When people go skydiving, why do they bother wearing a helmet?
Why do they call him the Lone Ranger, when he always rides with Tonto?
What is the shortest route around an island?
If you ate your own foot, would you lose weight?
Do babies think adults are cute?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur, would we still pet them?
If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the inside of the tube?
Why must hailstones always be the size of something else?
If you drove your car at the speed of light, what would happen when you turn on the headlights?
If you held all the cotton balls that you could possibly hold, what would happen if you held one more?
If you are standing on the North Pole, which way is North?
What time was it when the world's first clock was put into operation?
How do they know for sure that no two snowflakes are identical? I can think of several billion that no one has ever seen but me!
Where are a cricket's ears?
If there are no sound waves in space, how do astronauts communicate?
If you killed your clone, would it be murder or suicide?
How long do eyelashes live?
What if "C-A-T" really spelled Dog?
Given the fact that the weight of everything is determined by how much the earth's gravity pulls on it...how much does the earth weigh?
Why do those 24-hour convenience stores have locks on their doors?
Why don't olympic divers do cannonballs?
When the Panama Canal was dug, where did all the dirt go?
What's the difference between flammable and inflammable?
How close does a fly get to the ceiling before he flips upside down to land?
Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
Why are blackberries red when they're still green?
If a poisonous snake bit itself, would it die?
When does the 18-hour bra expire?
What are those little plastic things at the end of your shoelaces called?
What exactly is the meaning of Jumbo Shrimp?
Is it possible to be cold enough to freeze electricity?
If M&M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands, what would they do in your armpits?
Do gun manuals have a troubleshooting section?
Why is there a Permanent Press setting on your iron. Wouldn't Permanent Press clothes not need to be ironed?
Why do kids always smile After the flash goes off on the camera?
If a space alien came down to the earth naked, how would we know what Not to look at?
What if everyone in the world looked like Willie Nelson?
Is a zebra white with black stripes, or black with white stripes?
Why do people buy artificial grass for their Easter baskets...when real grass is free?
Shouldn't someone say "Excuse Me" Before emitting intestinal gas, instead of After?
If you only had one tooth, would you brush it longer?
What is that crappy looking blue liquid stuff they use in diaper commercials to demonstrate their absorbancy?
If a snake ate itself, starting with the tail, where would it go?
Does it hurt when porcupines have sex?
Could you fit enough toilet paper in the toilet to soak up all the water?
On those containers of mold & mildew cleaners it says, "Use only in a well-ventilated area." If the area were well-ventilated, would there be any mold or mildew?
Why does a person have a Pair of underwear, but just one bra?
Why does the nose always itch when your hands are dirty or you are carrying something heavy?
Do you have to brush your teeth during a fast?
Why do they call it a Fast, when it goes so damn slow?
If you dug up the whole world, then put all the dirt back... would the world be flat?
How can you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
If a turtle lost its shell, would it be homeless or naked?
When a prostitute gets pregnant, is it considered a work-related accident?
What color would a Smurf turn if it were choking?
What does Geronimo yell when he jumps from a plane?
If you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat, then dropped it from the top of a building, what would happen?
When sign painters go on strike, is there anything painted on their signs?
Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?
Why isn't Phonetics spelled the way it sounds?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the one on top meant to be thrown away?
If a person moved to a different time zone than his twin brother, would he then be older than his twin?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to cure it?
What do little birdies see when they're knocked unconcious?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge him with Battery?
Can athiests get insurance for acts of God?
If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what is a fog horn made out of?
If quitters never win and winners never quit, why do people always say, "Quit while you're ahead?"
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald people?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
What would happen if the whole world farted at the same time?
If your name was Fucker, would you be allowed to say it on TV?
If you pulled the wings off of a fly, would you have to call it a walk?
How slow is the slowest - Where exactly is that fine line between slow and still?
How did Adam and Eve celebrate Mother's Day?
If you're in space, which way is up?
When it rains, which raindrops fall faster, the large drops or the small drops?
When was the world's first chocolate chip cookie made... and who ate it?
Why is it not possible to have a square bubble?
What happens to an amputated limb - does it get thrown in the garbage?
If you tried to drive around the world, wouldn't your car flood out?
When a hair falls out of your head, what do you suppose held that hair in yesterday?
Do flies ever sleep? And if so, do they close their eyes?
What sound does the letter "Q" make buy itself without the "U"?
Does Ray Charles ever stop smiling?
What are those little indentations on golf balls for?
How many pages does it take to make a book?
Why is there a "D" in Fridge and not a "D" in Refrigerator?
Do whales fart?
Why does a dog have to circle a spot several times before finally settling down on it?
Why are toilet paper square made so small - Has anyone ever used just one square?
How are you supposed to look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary if you don't know how to spell it?
Why do rats and other small animals explode when cooked in a microwave?
Who wrote the alphabet?
What is the highest number that has ever been counted to?
Why isn't rice paper made of rice?
How many green Life Savers candies were produced between July 13th and August 25th in 1975?
Why doesn't Grape Nuts cereal contains grapes or nuts?
If that little black box that is built for airplanes is supposed to survive any crash, they why don't they build the whole plane out of that stuff?
What are cold cuts called when they're heated up?
Does Stevie Wonder know that he's black?
Why are shop teachers always missing fingers?
How thick would a piece of glass have to be before you couldn't see through it?
How to TV cars always manage to squeal their tires on dirt roads?
What are the holes for in Graham Crackers?
Why do the buns come in packs of eight, while the weiners come in packs of twelve?
Why are tennis balls fuzzy?
When you're lost, does it help to locate a street easier by turning down the radio?
Who was on the dollar bill before George?
Why don't cigarette lighters come with "How To Use" instructions?
What does it mean to fall Fast Asleep - Has anyone ever fallen Slow Alseep?
How does an aspirin know which part of the body to seek out and relieve the pain?
Do giraffes get cavities?
If you rigged all your clocks to run backwards, would you start feeling younger?
How long is the longest - and why couldn't there be a longer?
Was it mandatory in the early twentieth century to build all schools at least twenty miles uphill from future grandparents?
What is that nasty yellow liquid inside of a carpenter's level?
Given the fact that so many items are priced ending with 99 cents, wouldn't life be easier if we had a "99-cent" coin?
Why should God bless a person for sneezing?
Is it against the law to eat a piece of pie with the pointed end facing away from your mouth?
Does it make an elevator arrive faster by pressing the button several times?
Why is "ON" and "OFF" written on light switch covers - when the light is on, you can read it. But when the light is off...?
Are there any words that have never been spoken?
How far can the human eye see - and then what happens... does it just Stop seeing?
Why are there no black wines?
Why are eggs egg-shaped?
Who delivered presents before Santa?
When a male spider goes pee, does it lift all four legs, or just one?
Why is the Department of Interior in charge of everything outdoors?
How much does a wet ladybug weigh?
In the city of Newport News, Virginia, do they call the local news broadcast the "Newport News News?"
Can you buy a whole chess set at a pawn shop?
How come you don't have to be an athlete to have athlete's foot?
If Albert Einstein was so smart, why did he disregard the "I Before E" rule in his name?
Does anyone ever keep gloves in a glove compartment?
If you were to drink soda from a coffee cup, could you still call it a coffee cup?
What is two times infinity?
What would you call it if you had a nightmare during the day?
If we were descended from kangaroos instead of monkeys, would we need pockets in our pants?
If our knees bent the other way, what would chairs look like?
If Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's dad, why didn't they have the same last name?
Can deaf people who read lips tell if someone has an accent?
What is the handicapped parking situation at the Special Olympics?
When a batter gets hit by a pitcher and goes running to the pitcher's mound in a raging fury, why does he drop the bat?
Would it be legal to have sex with an animal if you were married to a werewolf?
How many cows does it take to make a stampede?
Do ugly people know they're ugly?
What is Bugs Bunny's social security number?
Do werewolves live in a warehouse?
Who invented the word "Ouch" and what made him say it?
Was George Washington's brother the "Uncle" of our country?
Are people on death row allowed to take out life insurance?
What kind of wrench would a monkey use?
Is it possible to yawn while you're asleep?
Why do people sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame," when they're already there?
What's the difference between a "Near Miss" and a "Near Hit?"
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out its nose?
Why don't birds like the flavor of Grape Kool-Aid?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
If there were no dirt, would we still have to wash?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
What is the speed of dark?
If a man married his grandmother, would he be his own grandpa?
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
What's the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Why do they call them "Apartments" when they're all stuck together?
If you ordered a buffalo on credit, would you receive a Buffalo Bill?
If you melted a pool of dry ice and then went swimming in it, would you get wet?
Why is a carrot more orange colored than an orange?
If Superman can stop bullets with his chest, why does he always duck when you throw a chair at him?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy alcohol if you can't drink and drive?
Why are there Insterstate highways in Hawaii?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how does it stick to the pans?
Can you still say, "Put it where the sun don't shine" at a nude beach?
If you swallow a burp, does it turn into a fart?
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
Do stair go up or down?
Do caskets come with lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on a phone go down while the numbers on a calculator go up?
When French people swear, do they say, "Pardon my English?"
Why aren't marbles made of marble?
In that song, "She'll Be Coming 'Round The Mountain," who is She?
What does it sound like when mute people burp?
If a fork were made of gold, would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn't Hell be cold?
Do they have girls' bathrooms in gay bars?
Which way does a compass point in space?
Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead?
Did Noah have woodpeckers and termites on his Ark?
Why is "Charlie" short for "Charles" when they both have the same number of letters?
If a person had his legs amputated, would he have to change his height and weight on his driver's license?
If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn't you be able to go anywhere you wanted to?
If you don't pay your exorcist, would you be repossessed?
If you die and you have a broken leg, would they leave the cast on?
Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
Why is it possible to write on an eraser with a pencil?
Why are there black lines on a basketball?
Can a person choke and die on a Life Saver?
When lightning strikes the ocean, why don't all the fish die?
If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a Hearing?
If you drink Pepsi while working in the Coke factory, would you get fired?
Why do people go up to the top of tall buildings and put money in the telescope to look at things on the ground?
Does Cupid have a girlfriend?
Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian pizza?
If two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would their kids be identical?
If your glove is too big, does it still fit like a glove?
Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?
Since you have to pull over when you see a funeral train coming down the road, what would happen if there were a funeral train coming down both sides of the road?
Is there anything easier done than said?
Are you allowed to fart in Heaven?
Can vampires donate blood?
Why does the Bible have a page 666?
What does the "T" in T-shirt really mean?
If money is the root of all evil, then how come churches ask for it?
Can angels eat devil's food cake?
Do bald men wash their heads with soap or shampoo?
What would happen if you put a humidifier and a de-humidifier in the same room?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who would you complain to?
If you are in Hell and you get mad at someone, where would you tell them to go?
If a baseball is hit out of the stadium and travels completely around the world then re-enters the stadium and is caught by a fielder, is it an out or a home run?
If you had X-Ray vision, could you still see with your eyes closed?
If you own a piece of land with a volcano on it, and it ruins a nearby town, would you have to pay for the damage?
Why do we say "bye-bye" and not "hi-hi"?
How do the police handcuff a one-armed man?
Why do they call it your bottom when it's really in the middle of your body?
Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the carpool lane?
Why is the fear of long words called "Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
What is a male ladybug called?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Whatever happened to an "E" grade in school. We have A,B,C,D,F - but no E.
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?
Do geese get people bumps?
If you stole a pen from the bank, could you be charged with bank robbery?
Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
Can good looking Eskimo girls be called "Hot"?
If you try to fail and succeed, what just happened?
Why does Bugs Bunny walk around everywhere naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?
How do you know which arm rest is yours in the movie theater?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of skating rinks?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
How would you treat someone who is addicted to counseling?
Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?
How fast would you have to go to keep up with the sun so that you're never in darkness?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If the people at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and you get rid off all of them but one, what would you have left - an odd or an end?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, would you be able to read properly?
Why don't burn victims get a discount on cremation?
What happened to the first 6 Ups?
What would happen if you got scared half to death twice?
What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?
How do blind people know when they're finished wiping their butts?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why is it called "After Dark" when it's really "After Light"?
Are there any questions that have never been answered?
